After reading “The First Four Minutes,” I cannot agree with the author anymore. The first several minutes of conversations between strangers are essential in their relationship development. In China, people always pay a lot attention on the first couple minutes of the conversation, because it represents the first expressions of them. In addition, everyone has their public selves and private selves. However, there are lots of differences between Chinese conversations and American conversations, like hiding many emotions and the private things in public conversations, being modest in the conversation, and avoiding showing their affection for others in public.
Hiding emotions does not mean Chinese people do not show their emotions during conversations, it means people in China do not show their emotions as much as people do in America. For example, Chinese president HU may not say he will give two puppies to his daughter as American president Obama did in his speech. In China, president’s speeches are always slow and less emotional.
Western people may get confused about Chinese people’s modesty in the conversation. For example, when I just came to America and an American student said my shoes are nice; however when I replied like ‘no, my shoes are bad’, the guy looked at me and didn’t know what to say. As in China, people always say their things are bad when the others praise their things. This is a common communication ways in China.
In China, people do not kiss with each other or hug in public places even they fall in love. People should control their emotions in public places; and if some people kiss in public places, they may get all the attention of the people around.
All in all, hiding emotions, being modest, and avoiding showing their affection are Chinese communication ways.